Most Charitable and Hottest Celebrities

Every guy wants a woman who’s constantly ready to give it up. In this case, of course, the “it” is time and money to various worthy – or unworthy, depending on how Japanese you are in one case – causes. Here are the five women most likely to give you a helping hand when you’re down and out.

Angelina Jolie

Love her or hate her, you must admit she has dick-sucking lips. Those feisty eyes and undoubted kinkiness in bed can also draw you in — or eat you alive, if you’re lucky. She’s done more charity than she has bad movies, which makes her quite ambitious. Angelina is currently helping refugees as an ambassador to UNHCR, and she gives money to just about everyone except Jennifer Aniston. Check her out naked in “Gia.” That’s making the world a better place right there.

Hayden Panettiere

Her antics reportedly got her an arrest warrant from Japan: she jumped in the ocean to stop fisherman from killing dolphins, and you can bet that got her wet in many places. To make her an even hotter giving-goddess, she is auctioning off her clothes to support Save the Whales. If you’re lucky she won’t have anything left to wear. One wonders if this fresh young hero smells like fish.

Natalie Portman

A beautiful stripper in “Closer,” Natalie sweats in real life too. She trekked through a jungle in the Congo to film a documentary about endangered gorillas, one of which she named “Ahazaza.” Just try screaming that aloud in bed. She also works for FINCA, helping give business loans to women in poor countries who otherwise would be forced to work as a much less hot version of her “Closer” role.

Natalie’s hot, generous, and smart enough not to give a lap dance to one of your buddies when you aren’t around. What more could a man need?

Jessica Alba

She raised $260,000 for disabled children at a screening of “Good Luck Chuck,” although it’s a fair guess she wasn’t nude. That may change as she donates to “Clothes Off Our Back,” another charity where celebrities donate their clothes (this time to support childrens’ charities). If you buy enough of her shirts, will she finally go topless?

She also apparently supports RADD, which “creates positive attitudes about road safety.” Seeing as how she probably creates more car crashes walking down the street than any other lady, it’s only fair.

Petra Nemcova

This poor young model was stuck in a tree for eight hours during the 2004 tsunami in the Indian Ocean. As if she hadn’t already made a tree happy and given everyone else plenty of wood, she created the charity “Happy Hearts” to support children who were victims of the tsunami. Something tells me it isn’t just the hearts that are happy when the males of the species look her up. Would you let her cling to you in a storm? Czech!

She also lost her fiancée in the tsunami, which makes her single.